Poetry

Apathy

Pain hurts to much,
Caring is exhausting,
My emotions are numb.
Does apathy really exsist?
Or is it caused by pain that weighs too heavy?
Is it really just numbness?
I can feel the pain.
Only it’s dulled,
It’s numb.
There’s been too much hurt,
Yet the apathy doesn’t set in,
Every day still pierces my soul.
Apathy must not exist.
Review · Uncategorized

The Inner Struggle Between Good and Evil – Harry Potter Book Review

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is the 6th book in the series and it’s significant in that it paves the way for the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. While most people have seen the movies and understand the story, I have found the books offer more insight into the emotions Harry felt. Throughout the book Harry’s emotions are incredibly deep and it anyone can relate to them. Also please note, many people now consider the Harry Potter series authorless or written by Daniel Radcliffe. I am one of those people as I believe an author that can inspire imagination in children should be able to have enough imagination to at least grasp that gender is spectrum and a social construct.

Much like the previous book (The Order of the Pheonix), Dumbledore is adamant on teaching Harry the reasons behind a persons character. In the Order of the Pheonix, he explained the reasons why Kreacher betrayed Sirius and allowed Harry to interpret both sides of the story. In the Half Blood Prince, the lessons on character were almost entirely on Voldermort as Dumbledore believed he needed to understand his past in order to defeat him. While this was a part of the reason, there was another important factor in teaching Harry about Voldemorts past, so he could draw parallels with his own. Both Harry and Tom Riddle grew up lonely and orphaned, one became humbled and the other turned to pure evil. At one point in the book, Dumbledore questions whether Voldemort was born evil or whether he became evil. When comparing Harry and Voldemort, they both grew up in similar circumstances, so what was the definitive part that made Harry choose good?

When analysing Harry’s childhood, he grew up abused and lied to. He was told his parents died in a car crash, though he still had family and there was some kind of connection to who he was. In contrast to Tom Riddle, he grew up with no connection to anyone, all he knew is that he could do these special things. One of the ideas Dumbledore explained, was that because Riddle was surrounded by Muggles, he assumed he was special and because of this, he was above them. This idea was further developed because Riddle had no idea who his parents were and so he created a fantasy that they were powerful. When comparing Harry and Riddle, it can be quite easy to understand what set them both on their individual paths. Dumbledore wanted Harry to draw these comparisons because in doing so, his own character could develop.

In the Half Blood Prince, Harry was around the same age that Riddle started to kill. Riddle started to become interested in his family because he had this unique ability to talk to snakes and thus he must be the heir of Slytherin. That idea came crashing down when he discovered his family lived in horrific conditions and were living in squalor. Yet, the biggest factor that contributed to what he became, was that his mother loved a Muggle – a group he thought he was above. Learning that he wasn’t special, he sought to erase his past through murdering his Muggle side of the family. Dumbledore believed it was important for Harry to understand this because the journey ahead would involve the discovery of secrets, lies and objects of true power. Glory would be within his reach and he would have to reject it. Throughout the book, Harry is shown to be very susceptible to the effects of gaining prestige. The potion book owned by the Half Blood Prince was an analogy for this. Harry almost gave into the praise he recieved and through trust in the book he severely injured Draco. Through having this insight, Harry could see the consequences of striving for someone else’s greatness, much in the same sense Voldemort strives for the Slytherin familys greatness. Through understanding the consequences striving for glory, Harry could have a chance of overcoming his obstacles, as the ones to come would be the hardest he ever faced.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is a fantastic book and while it is quite dark in comparison to the others, it teaches people to understand and learn from others, amongst other things. Life can be hard and having ones hopes and dreams crushed can have a profound effect on an individual, however taking a path that doesn’t give into those insecurities through seeking greatness is better in the end. This book had a profound effect on me and I felt it deserved an analysis. Thanks for reading!

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    Review

    TV Shows with a Deeper Meaning

    TV shows are a great way to pass time, while they’re a great source of entertainment, there are always hidden meanings behind these stories. I am a huge fan of shows that allow me to reflect on the way society is, so I wanted to list a few of my favourites and explain the messages in them.

    Black Mirror

    While this one is obvious for its comments on the way technology influences society as well as the innate behaviour of it, I must discuss it. Black mirror is one of my favourite shows, it’s incredibly easy to see how technology can influence society in the future, yet it is still able to draw parallels with the present day. One example of this is the episode The White Bear which can show how society follow individuals accused of crimes and how in the end we can put our humanity aside, stooping to their level for their punishment.

    Another example of how well this show comments on society is Nosedive. It demonstrates how people can get so caught up in social media that it becomes a hierarchy. Those with more followers or more likes are richer, more influential and powerful. It also demonstrates how attemping to reach that level will not make people happy, which is what a lot of people search for in social media.

    Attack on Titan

    This show is a japanese anime, despite this it still does a fantastic job at commenting on society. To quickly summarise, this show is about giants called titans that eat people and inorder to survive humanity builds a huge wall to prevent them from getting eaten. The wall itself it very symbolic in the functioning of society.

    There are layers to the wall and these layers can correspond to the social class of the person living within this area, with the richer people having the most walls between them and the titans. So far, we can visualise how this wall demonstrates the social system in society. When disaster strikes and the titans penetrate the wall, its the pooer class who is the first to be effected. This is also seen in our everyday lives, one example is global warming, people living in poverty are the ones getting most effected right now, with higher classes being unaware of the effects. The wall is important to understanding class, yet there is much more to social class within the show.

    Tokyo Ghoul

    Tokyo Ghoul is another japanese anime that about a boy name Kaneki who becomes a ghoul and needs human flesh to survive. He tries to restrain from giving into this survival instinct but eventually succumbs to it. One theme that in particularly interesting is the idea that the ghouls are only doing what they need to survive and that happens to be eating human flesh. Some ghouls like to obtain their food by a more ethical means, yet no matter what, the humans hate and hunt them. In relation to society, it demonstrates how humanity can be unwilling to find alternatives and would rather discriminate and alienate, pushing people to do what they need to in order to survive. While there are many others themes, I don’t want to spoil it for anyone.

    The X Files

    While the X Files is a sci fi show and quite bizarre at times, it often comments on themes relating to social groups. Mass hysteria is one example in which people will go crazy due to fear and panic. Another interesting point is how people tend to group together to fit their needs and interests, even if it leads to extreme behaviour. This show does an incredible job on showing human psychology and how it works at a societal level. It also has an overall scary or isolated feel at times which adds to these themes. Despite having quite serious episodes, they always throw in a comedic one and its great.

    These four shows are some of my personal favourites, they do an amazing job at showing the human condition. Of course there are many more out there and these are just a few of them. I’d love to hear any shows that you’d recommend. Thanks for reading!

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    Poetry

    Colleagues

    I came here to work.
      To learn,
      To achieve.
    Please don’t make me feel this way,
    There’s too many distractions.
    So I ask please…stop.
    Don’t turn an innocent crush into something more.
    I don’t know when it started,
    But now I like the attention,
       The flirting,
       The support,
    You said you have my back.
       Is that true?
       Why do you?
    I couldn't take the thoughts anymore,
       I need to focus.
    That’s why I confessed.
    Was it self-sabotage?
       Yes.
    Rejection hurts but maybe you’ll stop,
       Stop flirting,
       And glancing were my eyes aren’t.
    Why do I have to lower myself?
       To hurt myself to stop you?
    
    It didn’t work,
       It built you up.
    And now I’m left here.
    You said you understood why I had to hear you say it,
        All the while you glanced at my lips.
    I wish it would end here.
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    Uncategorized

    Ignorance is Bliss

    Lately I’ve noticed exactly how much the world enjoys living in ignorance. Naturally, I became curious as to why. I know I personally prefer to ignore the hard things in life and go on not knowing. While it can be easier to ignore what’s troubling us, it can become quite detrimental to our mental and physical health. So, how exactly can we escape it?

    Blissful Ignorance – Agnotology

    When I first began to reflect on ignorance it was because I heard the term Agnotology in a podcast (ologies). Agnotology is the study of culturally induced ignorance and how it’s used as a tool to divert our attention from social problems. A recent example is the pandemic, some people are being purposfully ignorant despite the very obvious signs it’s going on. While on a societal level its easy to see how the media and the input we get influences us. So I want to explore the reasons we want to be ignorant in every day life about every days things.

    Why Do We Choose to Ignore Things?

    Personally, when I am faced with a hard task I like to ignore or even procrastinate it, especially when I think I might fail. The brain likes use ignorance as a coping mechanism and if it isn’t there then it cannot cause us pain or hurt. It’s very much a survival instinct, similar to being afraid of what we cannot see in the dark. If it cannot be seen, it’s scary. If we don’t know what’s going to happen it can hurt us. And so, we can go through life blissfully avoiding/ignoring it. While this causes us less pain, that hurt is a part of life and helps us to grow, without it our mental health can suffer.

    How Does it Effect Us Mentally?

    Most of us have experience a situation when we would really like to do something but are afraid, so we dont try never knowing what would happen and thus we are kept ignorant. The issue with doing this is that it keeps us stagnant and wondering what if, as well as keeping us in a constant cycle of being afraid to try. That consistant cycle keeps us from progressing mentally and in many other aspects. We need to fail to learn and grow, without it people become less open minded. An analogy is when someone is confronted about their behaviour and how it effects the person. Sometimes they refuse to acknowledge that they did hurt someone, maybe its because it hurt that they themselves made a mistake. But the result is that they can’t grow and move forward, learning to handle confrontation and even apologise. They continue to be insensitive and go through life like that. These kinds of people also tend to lose others a lot because they refuse to change. For me, I try to embrace failure the best I can because I know the outcome, which is that I will become better because of it. Yes, its incredibly painful but we can be resiliant at times and we come out better because of it.

    How Do We Escape?

    Like most things we do, it’s definitely a mental battle. The mind can be powerful in stopping and starting new behaviours. Here’s some ways that I believe could help, it’s very much dependant on an individual, in saying that it’s fantastic to get ideas and try new things.

    • Start small. Think of something small you’ve been avoiding. Going all in and trying new things constantly can be overwhelming and can have the opposite effect.
    • Positive mental feedback. I tend to get thoughts where I put myself down but I’ve learn’t to automatically talk back to them. For example, saying you’re stupid. Tell yourself ‘no, I’m not’ back. Negative thoughts can have a major effect on ones belief in themselves.
    • Praise and congradulate yourself when you achieve something. You struggled mentally and you’ve overcome. Celebrate in any way you can.
    • Create a list. I used to think it was stupid to write down all my mental jargon. It totally isn’t, we need to express ourselves and correlate them somehow. Write a list as detailed or simple as you desire.
    • Symbolism. This is a great way to channel your feelings. It might sound a littler bit strange but it can help especially when you’re first learning to overcome obstacles.

    These are just some suggestions that might help. It’s about finding what works best for you. Many of us struggle with overcoming fear, but as long as we keep trying to push through them we shouldn’t feel guilty about lack of progress in life. And if anyone reading this is trying debating whether they should do something they’ve been afraid of, this is a sign! Thanks for reading!

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    Apathy

    Pain hurts to much, Caring is exhausting, My emotions are numb. Does apathy really exsist? Or is it caused by pain that weighs too heavy? Is it really just numbness? I can feel the pain. Only it’s dulled, It’s numb.There’s been too much hurt, Yet the apathy doesn’t set in, Every day still pierces my… Continue reading Apathy

    The Inner Struggle Between Good and Evil – Harry Potter Book Review

    Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is the 6th book in the series and it’s significant in that it paves the way for the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. While most people have seen the movies and understand the story, I have found the books offer more insight into the emotions Harry felt.… Continue reading The Inner Struggle Between Good and Evil – Harry Potter Book Review

    Wide Awake

    I lie here, Thinking, Feeling, Heart racing.My eyes are shut, Yet, my mind is processing a million thoughts.When will the peace arrive? How long has it been?Every thought, Every feeling, All felt within a second.Time has vanished.Why won’t my mind rest?

    Poetry

    R U OK? Day Poem

    Trigger warning: Some of the words in this poem can imply suicide. It’s up to your own interpretation, however please be cautious.

    I’m waiting,

    For someone to notice.

    Each day is growing harder,

    Each breath becoming a gasp.

    The perfect storm is in my head,

    Yet, my words are obslete.

    How much longer will I endure?


    I’m counting down the days,

    Until my mind is at peace.

    I don’t know how or when the storm inside will subside.

    But exhaustion has set in,

    Every movement agony.

    How much more can I take?


    I’m so afraid,

    Of what I am capable of,

    And the consequences of trusting others.

    The world is cruel.

    All I can do is wait and see,

    If someone can pull the words out of me.

    By reaching out,

    To ask me,

    ‘R U OK?’


    Mental health is incredibly important and having struggled in the past, I wanted to write a poem for R U OK? day. There have been many times in the past which I wish I could’ve been asked that and I know there are people out there who need to be asked that right now. I try to make my blog a safespace for self-expression of my own thoughts through poetry because it helps with my healing, but it also helps others to know they’re not alone. If anyone needs to talk right now, my inbox is always open!

    Poetry

    Support

    Looking back,

    The past is a cold, dark place,

    Devoid of all happiness.


    Reflecting only leads to guilt

    And questions,

    How could I have done better?

    Am I really to blame?


    Yet there’s one question that fails to surface,

    If I felt unsupported,

    Why do I feel guilt?


    I had been hurt time after time,

    It caused me to break.

    So why would you be angry at me?

    And not the people who did it to me?

    Telling me that it’s ‘their choice’ to treat me this way,

    Is stating that I should carry the burden of their actions.

    That those actions were acceptable.


    So, I ask, next time I cry or break,

    Be angry with me and not at me.

    Support me.

    And I will do the same.

    Poetry

    Self Sabotage

    Life is going well lately,

    It’s given me inspiration to be someone.

    My heart is soaring,

    And my brain is racing.


    My thoughts are strong,

    Erratic,

    Never ending.

    I want something so badly,

    I’m afraid of failure.


    There’s only one way to avoid failing,

    Self sabotage.

    For I cannot be disappointed,

    If my undoing is a result of my actions.

    It’s so illogical, yet logical.

    Incredibly foolish, yet intelligent.

    When in the face of failure,

    Anxiety is my undoing,

    I am my own worst enemy.

    Poetry

    Rely on Yourself

    I found myself seeking others,

    Trying to find a solution,

    Only to be disappointed.


    I searched,

    Over sharing my thoughts as a cry for help,

    Desperately holding back the tears.


    Then someone answered.

    It wasn’t a solution,

    Not in the sense I was expecting.

    But, those words ignited a flame in me,

    An idea that I realised I was searching for all along.


    “Rely on yourself”, they said

    At the end of the day,

    I know me better than anyone,

    Therefore I know what’s best.

    No one could help me,

    Because I needed to help myself.


    These words still ring in my brain.

    And I am forever thankful to the person who cited them.