I feel broken.

There’s a cog within my brain that won’t turn

The cog remains stagnant.

It always has.

Is it normal that I don’t feel ‘normal’ physical sensations?

Is it normal that lust doesn’t exist in me?

I am broken.

Yet, this is all I’ve ever known

The world changed around me and I stayed the same

It feels like I never matured

Relationships won’t exist, they don’t exist

Loneliness is eternal

All because of that unresponsive cog in my brain

I don’t see myself as broken…I feel it but I don’t see it

How can something break if the desire was never there?

I do see loneliness though

With asexuality, at times, there’s fear… anxiety…

That I will disappoint someone in the process of trying to be loved

That all anyone will ever see is my body

The loneliness is eternal and the fear is terrifying

However, if I wear it on my sleeve, then people will know not to give me false hope

And me…I won’t get hurt

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