Restless

‘People aren’t talking about you.’

‘It’s all in your head.’

‘You need to breathe.’

That’s what I tell myself…


The reality?

I cannot breathe

Fear envelopes me

Everyone around me is judging me


I am the one they talk about

Why?

My circumstances were so unique

Therefore, I will be singled out


The reality?

I hope that’s not true…

No one wants a reminder of that pain you went through

They were part of it

Why would they want that reminder?

Everyone just wants to be happy.


Then again…I hope they feel

I hope they regret.

I hope they suffer with their consequences

I hope the feeling of anger and hatred for me blossoms within them

Because for me that’s the most painful thing.

That’s what I have to endure.


I don’t care if you hate me…

As long as it hurts.

Like it hurts me

Because all I seek is forgiveness towards others, yet I feel revenge

Revenge is not virtuous, revenge is suffocating

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