In this post I wanted to explore the idea of dating yourself. It’s often an idea that a lot of people don’t experience due to fear and anxiety of going out and doing things alone.
So, What is it Exactly?
Dating yourself is as basic as it sounds, you take yourself out for a good time. Alone. Which I personally find is a difficult task because eating and seeing a movie by yourself can induce quite a lot of anxiety. Some might think it’s just for single people who are lonely. Though even those in a relationship can do it. Sometimes people in relationships find it hard to do things alone because they’re so comfortable with their other half. Taking yourself out is just something everyone should do at some point, be it going to the cinemas or going shopping. It really allows you to reflect and discover your own interests as opposed to adopting another’s.
Why Do We Get Anxiety When We Are Alone?
Just imagine you’re having a meal alone or even taking a walk alone and this anxiety overwhelms you that everyone is judging. But why are humans like this? Because we crave social attention and need to have a sense of value. Being alone makes people feel less valuable. We as human beings desire value because it’s instinct. Our value means we are doing our part in society and thus enabling the survival of our species. It doesn’t really matter anymore, there are billions of people so live your life.
What’s the Point Though?
Have you ever wanted to go do something but we’re afraid too because no one wanted to go with you? It’s incredibly freeing to work up the courage to do something by yourself and it’s also beneficial for your mental state. At times we often rely on others and it can cause us to lose sight of ourselves. Taking some time alone helps to combat our reliance on others to feel good. Solitude isn’t a bad thing and it really helps you to discover who you are when you’re lost. It’s only when you’re completely alone that you can find yourself because you don’t have opinions and judgments on things bombarding you.
Tips For Reducing That Fear
- Take baby steps and do the small things alone.
- Slowly work your way up to bigger things, such as; seeing a movie. It’s dark so no one will notice and if they do then it’s none of their business.
- Only when you feel ready, dine alone or anything similar. You need to make sure you feel comfortable enough.
I personally have trouble doing things alone and this year I’m learning to do more self care. Because self care really does help with my mental health. So, I hope to take myself out for food or to the city, to have fun and enjoy myself.
Thanks for reading everyone!