Why I Love Frozen 2 – Pt. 2 (spoilers)

Watching the first Frozen movie, I was amazed by Elsa’s transformation. She went from a character who isolated herself because she was afraid to hurt people, to someone who was able to express her feelings and let others in. Frozen 2 allowed for further character development, progressing from a highly anxious individual to one who becomes free of anxiety and lets herself be free.

During the first song ‘Some Things Never Change’, the characters sing about how time is moving forward, yet they all remain the same. For Elsa she keeps hearing a call and has great anxiety that ‘somethings coming’ and how she’s ‘not sure she wants things to change at all’. These lines show the fear Elsa has in regards to the future and the uncertainty that awaits. Suffering from anxiety myself, the ambiguity that the future has can be terrifying and make you want to hold onto the present tightly. Elsa describes how the ‘days are precious’ and she cannot ‘let them slip away’, however; she ‘can still go out and seize this day’. Despite Elsa’s anxiety, she isn’t allowing dread to hold her back and is continuing to go about her day seizing every moment. This ability to not let anxiety stand in your way displays Elsa’s progression from the first movie, allowing us to see her journey. Yet at this point, she still has far to go due to her constant overthinking.

Throughout the Frozen franchise, we get to see Elsa’s progression in overcoming her anxiety. The song ‘Into the Unknown’, is very much about ignoring the voice in your head. Elsa is refusing to listen to the ‘siren’ as she fears ‘what [she] is risking if [she] follows’ it. The use of ‘siren’ demonstrates how the voice is enticing for her and it compels her. It isn’t until the movie progresses, that we see the voice was her own. For Elsa, the idea of pursuing the call gives her great anxiety because she’s afraid to risk what she has. The voice even goes so far as to ‘keep her awake’, which shows the constant thinking about whether to listen to the siren. This song analyses the overthinking of an individual when something new or scary makes an appearance. Which is further evident when she states ‘there’s a thousand reasons to go about my day’. It shows the compulsion to think about reasons why something should or shouldn’t happen. This is a classic symptom of anxiety, the constant overthinking and reflection. The song demonstrates Elsa’s thought process as it progresses from blocking the siren out, to thinking why is it here? To then accepting it and making a decision. This inability to make decisions is something many of us can resonate with because fear holds us back. Elsa was able to move forward and finally let the siren in, it’s only after she does this that she can become who she was meant to be.

In the song ‘Show Yourself’, it displays how the voice inside Elsa’s head was her own the entire time. She sings ‘I can sense you there, like a friend I’ve always known, I’m arriving, and it feels like I am home’. Elsa set out looking for someone like her and in these lines, she suggests she feels like this is where she is meant to be. She then explains how she’s ‘always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside’. It demonstrates how Elsa never felt at home and how her anxiety and dismissing the voice in her head held her back. Throughout the song, Elsa thought she was looking for someone like her, when the entire time she was looking for herself. It isn’t until her mother sings ‘there’s a river…full of memory…come, my darling, homeward bound’ that Elsa realises ‘[she] is found’. When Elsa finally finds the truth about her past through the memories of her ancestors, she is ‘homeward bound’, meaning she is finally finding where she belongs. She confirms this through singing ‘I am found’. The entire time she wasn’t in search of anyone else, she was looking for herself. There’s no longer any fear or sadness towards being alone, she has found herself and can finally be who she is. This is further confirmed when her mother sings to her ‘you’re the one you’ve been waiting for’. I think this is an idea a lot of people can understand, we tend to ignore our own voice and as a result we look for other voices to guide us. We overthink, trying to read signals and signs to figure out who we should be. This leads to that fear and anxiety of being alone, then at some point we need to realise the only one we’ve been looking for is ourselves. Our own voice is the only one that can guide us, and that idea is something that is very hard to come to. This song is a fantastic example of how we have to understand ourself to find ourself.

Thanks everyone for reading my analysis of Elsa’s character, her message is one that really hits close to home and I just wanted to share it with everyone.

I also just started a Pinterest so please follow me on that too!

Pinterest

Fitness Journal – 21st of December

Hey everyone,

Today was hard. I had a bit of a reality check because I finally weighed in. Before I started my fitness journey, I have no idea what my start weight was. I am terrified of the scale, it makes me obsessive, it makes me deprive myself of food. I weighed more than I expected, like way more. Now I wonder how much I weighed at the start. Anyway, this is another beginning. Currently, I weigh 78kg and I didn’t realise I let the binge eating get to me that much. My goal is 56 kg, so I’m going to work on losing 22kg. It was so easy to put in and unfortunately, it’s going to be very hard to lose it.

The next year is going to be difficult, I’m starting a PhD and I’m trying to get my confidence back. I’m up for the challenge, I am ready to change because I don’t want to go back. I want to feel good and be healthy again.

Thanks for reading my journal and letting me share my journey with you!

Fitness Journal – 19th of December

Hey everyone,

Today I was unable to go to the gym. I have this weird infection at my ankle and it’s painful to walk at times. I also got some good news so I decided to have some celebratory drinks.

I’m quite proud of myself because usually if I didn’t exercise one day I would feel incredibly guilty. It would be like I had to do it or I wouldn’t progress that day. That’s not how losing weight should be. You need days for yourself, whether on weekends or during the week. Also if you’re injured or sick, it’s okay to take a day off, not everyday needs to be progress.

Anyway, thanks for listening, this post was short but I wanted to share my progress with my mental health. Hope everyone is having a fantastic day!

I Got Accepted – 19th of December

I just got an offer to do a PhD in cancer research. I’m really happy but I’m letting my anxiety hold me back. The events of the past year were immensely difficult, I was blamed, judged and belittled by my supervisor. I now have a new supervisor but I’m afraid to return to that environment. There are regular seminars and I’m scared to see everyone again, I’m scared to be judged again. There’s still a lot of pain but this is an amazing project that I am grateful to have the opportunity to take part in. I was offered it because the person running it saw something in me and my writing skills, so I hope to make them proud.

I don’t quite know how to heal the pain still. All I know is that I will avoid that toxic environment that I was once in and never let the people who hurt me in again.

Fitness Journal – 18th of December

Hey everyone,

A few days ago I wrote a post about my fitness journey throughout my lifetime and my current effort to lose weight. I’m going to start just having a general reflection about my struggles, my motivations and tips and tricks if I discover any, so here it goes…

Starting A New Diet

I started the keto diet on Sunday after a binge eat on Saturday. The previous week I had started to go the gym on a daily basis which I was quite proud of. I was feeling great because I was exercising, yet I would struggle with eating. I ate snacks at night and never felt full. So on Saturday night after a binge eat, I decided enough was enough and went on the keto diet the next day. Up until then, I was trying intermittent fasting but failed at it and snacked during my fasting hours because I was so hungry. I haven’t entirely ditched the intermittent fasting, I just added keto to it and it’s too early to see if it’s working but it’s going well so far.

It’s been four days and so far so good with the keto. I have been mainly eating proteins with salad, cheese and a whole lot of hot sauce. I do miss carbs a little bit, however; there’s this wonderful bread flour substitute called almond meal and it’s fantastic. It brings me so much joy that there is some kind of bread substance that I can eat on keto so I’m quite optimistic.

I have also been tracking my calories to ensure I stay under 1200 calories, it’s not a massive issue if I do go over but it’s my goal for now. Today I almost didn’t track my calories, then I watched blogilaties video about her 90 day weight loss challenge and was then motivated again to continue. Because I was really upset today I almost didn’t track my calories and was prone to binge eating. I managed to refrain from binge eating so I am quite proud of myself.

Hitting the Gym

This week I’ve been quite good with going to the gym. I’m making a lot of progress and have even gone from 40 minutes of cardio to 50 minutes most days. I’m currently doing 30 minutes on the treadmill with an incline of 4 for 10 minutes and then 3 for another 10, then 2 for the remainder. After the treadmill, I use the exercise bike for 20 minutes. I’m a bit worried about the lack of variety when it comes to the cardio I am doing, if anyone has any suggestions please share! I’m also quite happy with my muscle mass currently, therefore I’m mainly just losing weight.

That’s my little update on my fitness progress. There will be weight updates eventually but I’m a bit too afraid to weight myself still. Thank you so much for reading and please if you have any recommendations, comment below.

Validation

I painted something!

It’s gorgeous, some of my best work

It’s a dancer, leaping through the air

I love it! I need to show someone!


“Mum! Mum! Look at my painting!”

“Look! Look! Look!”

“Isn’t it pretty?”

I can’t help but smile, I’m so excited

It’s definitely going on the fridge


Huh? She doesn’t look very impressed

What’s wrong with it?

All she said was “it’s nice”?


Maybe it’s not as great as I thought

I don’t like it anymore

It’s ugly.

Language Journal – Reflecting

Hey everyone,

I’m currently learning Japanese and I’ve been learning it for almost 3 years. Learning Japanese has been a journey that’s required a lot of determination and at times I have really lacked that. Hopefully through posting on my blog I can find and share my inspiration.

Over the last year I lost a lot of motivation because of events that went on in my life. I found myself in Japan and realised I had forgotten how to converse in Japanese. Practice makes perfect and I did not practice. It was really upsetting watching my hard work diminish. So I’m going to reflect a bit on why I started and chose the language I’m learning.

Why Did I Want to Learn a Language?

The ability to communicate with others in your target language is incredibly satisfying. It opens the world to new friends and allows you to experience culture in a completely different way. I absolutely love being able to pick up words in anime and even when walking down the street.

How did I Choose a Language?

I picked one based on what I liked. For me it was anime and Japanese food. I also love Korean dramas so I am going to start working on Korean. From experience, if you don’t choose one that relates to what you like, you won’t have motivation to learn it. I tried learning Italian and I had no motivation because there was nothing to connect me to the language. My grandparents were Italian and they died before I was at a point in my life where I would be determined enough to learn a another language. I’m really disappointed in myself because of it, I would’ve loved to see how happy they would be when I tried to communicate with them in their native language. I hope one day I can find my connection to Italy again but until then I will focus on the languages I do have interests in.

My Study Plan

I have struggled a LOT with having a consistent study plan. I am really struggling with focusing on areas other than vocabulary. So I’m working on implementing listening and grammar study as well. I have started creating notes for each lesson but I am having very little success with listening skills because I find listening boring.

I’m also thinking about setting a specific time of day for language learning. So far it has been quite passive and just at whatever time I feel. Implementing a specific time should aid in more focused study.

I would appreciate any tips and tricks for learning a language so comment below if you have any. I will continue to write these kind of posts as I need to keep a record my journey through Japanese and hopefully Korean.

Anger is Toxic – 18th of December

Hey everyone, just a little diary entry for today where I moved backwards into my journey of developing my character. I’ll discuss anger and why it is dangerous and reflect on my actions.

I have been trying to be less angry and annoyed at everything. Maybe it’s the 40 degree weather or the disturbed sleep, but I am not proud of myself today.

So here’s the scenario, I put and a Harry Potter advent calendar somewhere in my house because I don’t have room for it in my room and it’s Christmassy anyway. We decorate for Christmas and I thought it would be okay. Now, my house has always been messy and cluttered so would it make a difference where it was? No. My sister moved it into my room. She’s currently on a cleaning expedition and despite her best efforts (which isn’t much), the house is still a mess. I went to put it back and she outright refused, because it doesn’t look good there and there’s things already there. She put something else Christmassy there. So I get angry, put it somewhere else where things already were since we can apparently just remove things now, then I accidentally broke something. Am I proud of it? No. Did I apologise? No. I do feel guilty, but at this present time I cannot speak to my family without fuming. That place wasn’t good enough either and she moved it to the top of a really tall bookshelf where I can’t reach it and open it, thus defeating the purpose. So I just opened the whole thing, out of anger and ruined the surprise for myself. I know it’s my own fault but it’s like I don’t live here. I can’t decide where to put anything, she’s taken complete control. Even with the Christmas tree, my mum didn’t want it where it currently is and if she said anything she would endure the wraith of my sister. It’s a ridiculous fight, I know and it blew up purely because of my anger but I hate having so little control. My room is a dumping ground for other people’s shit at times so it’s unfair. Next time, I’ll just walk away, no more anger or frustration.

Why I Hate Anger:

My household has always been an anger fuelled environment and it translated onto me and my sister. Anger has no benefit, it just hurts people. You can do harm physically and mentally in times of anger which is why I hate it and I am trying to escape that toxic environment. Ever since I moved back in however, I’m surrounded by it. I don’t want to go into too much depth but it’s hard to remain calm in this environment and I’m trying my hardest.

I need to remember that people’s actions can only affect me if I let them affect me. And if these people act in certain ways that can be perceived as upsetting, then they aren’t worth it. At the end of the day, I need to live with myself. Recently, I have been reading a lot of Stoic writings and will hopefully make a blog post about it.

How Did I Feel Better?

I sat down alone so I wouldn’t blow up again, did my make up to calm me down and wrote. Makeup is quite artistic at times so I threw on new eyeshadow colours to distract myself and did a full face. I also took some pictures so I could learn to love myself and feel good about myself despite being a bit emotional earlier. I also wrote this post to get things off of my chest and show people it’s okay to revert back to your old self sometimes, as long as you reflect and improve.

Thanks for listening everyone, I really needed to get it off my chest to move on.

My Fitness Journey

Hey everyone,

I’ve decided to start a fitness diary on this blog as well because I want to use it to motivate myself and share my mental and physical process. My blog is very much about mental health and self expression, but mental health also has an affect on physical well-being. As I continue to journey on working through my mental state, I also want to really connect my mind and body, exploring how far my mind will take me on my fitness journey.

My Weight – The Constant Struggle

As a child, I was obese. I am 154cm, so I am fairly short and I have been that way since age 12. Naturally, because I stopped growing at such an early age, I grew sideways. Now, my background is Greek, Italian and German. My genes literally gave me all the curves, like my hips and thighs are as Greek as they get. Greeks are also big eaters, my grandma fed me full meals after school, then I would to eat dinner as well. And at 16 I weighed 100kg. As you could imagine, I lacked self-confidence because of my weight and struggled to be social. I never had a boyfriend and remained within my small group of friends, a social anxiety that haunts me to this day. I wouldn’t say I got bullied that often because of my weight, but I was bullied quite a lot for my lack of self confidence and ability to stand up for myself.

At some point in year 11, I decided enough was enough and started eating less (not necessarily healthier). I didn’t have meals straight after school and if I did I wouldn’t eat dinner. I didn’t start exercising at this point but I was starting to get smaller and smaller. By the end of year 12, I weighed around 80kg.

After high school ended, I limited my meals even more and started going to the gym everyday. The 3 months between the end of high school and start of university, I had lost another 10kg. I continued to exercise and watch what I was eating the rest of the year and managed to get down to 63kg. I then hit a plateau, stopped losing weight and stopped going to the gym. Two years later I weight around 74 kg and I’m ready to finally achieve my goal. I have been too unhealthy the past two years and it’s time to feel myself again.

I have decided not to weigh myself because it is a source of anxiety and knowing me I can become too focused on the numbers. There were times I weighed myself everyday and would gain 1kg from the food I ate the previous day. Seeing my weight increase made me cut out more food and as a result I eventually became micronutrient deficient.

My Battle with Stress Eating

Food is great. I love food, especially the unhealthy food. Chips, fried chicken, pasta, McDonald’s, did I mention chips? When I am stressed, I’m going to eat. I get so much comfort in eating and this past year when I was struggling with my mental health, I binge ate.

My relationship with food has always been pretty rocky. My mother is an Australian Italian and should be cooking amazing Italian food, instead she chooses to cook frozen food. Now, she’s struggled with her weight too so it’s easy to see where my poor nutritional values stem from. As a child, we wouldn’t eat home cooked food often which lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and my issues with weight.

My New Diet

In order to reduce my binge eating, I decided to start the keto diet. I tried it before without exercise and it did help, however; it would’ve more beneficial if I did exercise. Now I’m trying it again, I thought my issues were mostly snacking on carbs and those carbs aren’t going anywhere because my mother buys them like there’s no tomorrow. If I cut out the carbs, I hope to reduce snacking and learn to control my binge eating better.

So far so good. I have been eating a lot of protein and fats, as well as more greens than I have ever eaten. I’m still trying to figure out how to incorporate fruits because they are quite carb dense but I’m getting there.

My Everyday Routine

Since I’m on holidays I am not very active. So everyday I pretty much just sit on my bed at home watching tv and practicing my Japanese. Everyday I wake up at 12, go about my day and it’s not until 11pm that I go to the gym. I think I really need to incorporate some walking or just general leaving the house during the day because it’s unhealthy to stay inside so much. Anyway now for my gym routine, I am pretty much just focusing on cardio currently. So mainly the treadmill and the exercise bike is used. I also use the stair climber as a warm up to get ready for some serious cardio. When I feel like I have lost enough weight I will start lifting again.

Thanks for reading everyone, if you have any tips please leave a comment xx

Better Yourself Bucket List

This year, I really lost myself. By the time I finished my course I was full of self-doubt, depression, anxiety and fear. My anxiety got to the point where I would have a panic attack every night because I would think about the past year and blame myself. It took my friend telling me that I was becoming a toxic person (a bit harshly), for me to see that I was letting the way people treated me, negatively affect others. Althought her words hurt I knew she was right and I am glad she told me because I couldn’t see it. So from that day I told myself I wasn’t going to be negative anymore. I am who I am and that is a great person, those who treat me poorly based on their own insecurities is their problem. It wasn’t that simple though, with anxiety comes a lot of thinking, a lot of self-reflection. Right after my friend said that, I went to Japan for two weeks and for the most part it was great, I was distracted, I didn’t think about everything that happened and was living in the present. While I was there, I wrote a ‘Better Yourself Bucket List’ for me to fulfill my passion for learning and while I haven’t completed any of it, I am working on it. So, here it is…the bucket list to learn everything I want to learn. There’s no set time period because learning is a journey.

  • Learn to make cheese.
  • Make a blanket.
  • Get fit.
    • Learn about nurition and implement it in my diet.
    • Develop a healthy lifestyle – exercising + eating healthy.
    • Stop binge eating.
  • Learn to play a song that I can sing along to on piano.
  • Develop your makeup skills.
    • Learn a new eyeshadow look.
  • Learn to cook hard dishes.
    • Pasta.
      • Ravioli.
      • Gnocchi.
    • Beef Wellington.
    • Smoke meat.
    • Lasagna from scratch.
    • Dumplings.
    • Chicken pot pie.
    • Hummus.
    • Ramen.
  • Learn to use a slow cooker.
  • Bake everything.
    • Sour dough bread.
    • Pies.
    • Corn torillas.
    • Donuts.
    • Pumpkin pie.
    • Crossaints.
    • Puff Pastry.
    • Tart.
    • Entermet.
    • Those american biscuit things.
  • Learn to make cocktails.
  • Coding.
    • Make an app.
  • Candlemaking.
  • Get an aquarium.
  • Relearn highschool math.
  • Because N3 level in Japanese.
  • Start to learn Korean.

There you have it, my ‘Better Yourself Bucket List’. It’s not set in stone and I can add to it at any point. It’s great to have something to motivate me to feel myself again because I forgot who I was. I am someone who loves to learn, to cook, to bake and do random things. I am finally feeling myself again and at this point in time, I am working on getting fit and my Japanese skills. One step at a time…