Gaslighting

He did it…

I know he did.

Why is he lying?


I think I’m going crazy.

Doubt is sneaking up behind me

It’s ready to pounce at any moment.

Maybe it was me who did it…

I forget things all the time, it’s possible…


I’m just so confused

I don’t know what’s happening anymore

I am going crazy

Developing Habits

Developing healthy habits can be difficult task that requires a lot of self-discipline. Throughout January, I set about fulfilling one of my New Years Resolutions, which was to read on a daily basis. I managed to succeed through determination, however; there were some things I did to ensure I was developing the habit successfully. Now, I am two months into the year and have read three books already, this is significantly higher than my previous one book a year.

The Importance Of Having A Habit

A habit is something you do that you enjoy, or something that will allow you to have a happier and more positive life. Incorporating them into your everyday life has numerous benefits for your mental health, as it leaves you feeling fulfilled. Some habits make life easier for you, whereas others allow you to escape the stress of life. Either way, its incredibly important for keeping our mental health stable.

Tips For Habit Forming:

  • Pick a habit you actually want to learn. I know at times I have wanted to develop a habit because I thought I needed to. If you don’t want to do it, you won’t be determined.
  • Create a time of day you always do the habit you want to form. Having a set time helps significantly as it incorporates the habit into your everyday routine, showing you it’s doable to do on a daily basis.
  • Track every time you do the habit. Creating a tracker can be incredibly satisfying and it allows you to see your progress, motivating you to continue.
  • Don’t beat yourself up if you skip a day. We all have days where we don’t follow our normal routine and its fine.
  • If you don’t enjoy it once you’ve started it, don’t force yourself to do it as you will be miserable doing it and it will become a chore.

Some Habit Ideas:

  • Reading books or magazines.
  • Drinking a cup of tea before bed.
  • Exercising in the morning before work.
  • Journaling.
  • Writing poems/stories/novel.
  • Go for a walk.

There are numerous habits to develop and it’s up to you to decide which one will have a positive influence on your mental health.

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The Hunt

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

Robert Frost

This poem is based on a quote by Robert Frost.


Life is cruel.

You’re constantly running to keep up with everyone around you

It isn’t a marathon nor a race

It’s more like a hunt


It feels like the universe is hunting you down

If you can’t keep up, you get caught

Caught in the darkness


I’ve been close…

So close…

Heck, I almost stopped running

The universe would’ve engulfed me


But, I didn’t

I kept moving

Not too fast nor slow

Just, the right pace for me

And now, I feel better than ever

Getting Through A Panic Attack

Your heart is beating out of its chest and you gasp for air, failing every time – this is a panic attack and it’s a terrifying experience. They are often incredibly difficult to overcome, especially if you don’t have the right techniques. In this post, I want to shine light on some of the reasons why we have panic attacks and methods to get one out of an attack.

Why Do Panic Attacks Occur?

Sometimes it’s during an experience, thinking about a traumatising situation or encountering something that makes you relive the trauma that causes us to panic. There are numerous different triggers for panic attacks and it can be quite difficult to pinpoint the exact situation that has triggered you. None the less, the current situation causes us to have immense fear which results in panic.

This panic we experience is as a result of the fight or flight response. Like when we would encounter a dangerous situation in the past, say a dangerous animal trying to eat us, we would either prepare to fight or flight. Most of the time we would instinctively flight, which involved involuntary responses, such as; fast heart rate and heavy breathing. It prepares us for a life threatening situation.

More often than not, with anxiety and stress, our brain can take these situations as being detrimental to our wellbeing. This in turn, triggers the flight response and we panic.

How to Overcome the Panic?

In order to conquer a panic attack, the key is distraction. Find anything you can do that will keep your mind actively involved. Much of the panic stems from thinking and if you distract your mind, these thoughts are able to leave for long enough to stop an attack. In saying this, different things work for everyone. I personally, list 5 things I can see, hear and touch in order to prevent one when I feel it coming on. If one does come I tend to play a game or scroll reddit to have some sort of active involvement in an activity by my brain. It’s very important to try different things and find out what works best for you, especially if panic attacks are a recurring thing. Some things to try to in order to get out of an attack include:

  • Listing 5 things you can see, hear and touch.
  • Read something informative, this often distracts us as we are focusing. Especially if it’s something that is explaining how to do a task.
  • Say encouraging phrases, such as; ‘you are okay’ or ‘you will get through this’. It is also thought that using ‘you’ instead of ‘I’ helps.
  • Watch something you know will distract you.
  • Bake or cook by following a recipe. I often do this to distract myself at times. It has a calming effect.

Thanks for reading everyone! Panic attacks can be incredibly scary and hard to break out of so I wanted to share how I was able control them. In the end, I found it was understanding the cause of them, along with distracting my mind when negative thoughts appeared.

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Sloth

There’s a fog in my head

It’s growing faster by the day

I can see it slowly engulfing the world around me


My energy is fading

I want to do good

I want to be something

Yet… the fog is clouding my will to do so

I’m afraid of the day it will completely engulf me


It’s actually fading!

It’s been so long…

There’s so much I want to do!


Wait a second…there’s too much…

I don’t know what I want to start with

I can’t be bothered…


This is a continuation of the 7 Deadly Sins Series I’m working one. Be sure to check the others out!

Little Creatures

My heart beats too fast

I can feel the thumping

Every second I lay there

It’s like something is inside my chest

Knocking to get out


Thump, thump…thump, thump

It always comes in two’s


Why won’t you leave me be?

I’m exhausted…beyond belief

Who are you?

What are you?


You couldn’t merely be my heart

My mind and body wouldn’t betray me like that


No…there must be little creatures running everything in there

They must be doing it wrong…

It can’t possibly be my own mind doing this


Maybe they’re knocking to get out

They must be trapped

How can I release them and be free?

Betrayal

It isn’t always obvious.

It’s a shadow that creeps up behind you,

Slapping you multiple times in the face.

All at once


I didn’t notice the shadow till now.

Maybe it was so small that I couldn’t see, or…

Or maybe I just chose to ignore it


Maybe it was so blatantly obvious to every one but me.

I was blind.

It only followed me, so I thought I must’ve been special

It felt so good to be the centre of something’s attention.


But did it really care?

It’s a shadow for a reason.

What’s beneath it isn’t apparent

All that’s hidden within is its selfishness

It leeches off your support and gives little back

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Saying Goodbye

It’s hard…

Hard to imagine you gone.


All my life you were consistently there.

Your smile…your voice…

Then you were snatched away


Am I being selfish?

Was it really your time? Or were you cruelty taken from this earth?

The world you survived for so long


Does it matter though?

If I believe what I truely believe than I know you are in a far better place…

A place where the cruelties of this world are absent.

A place where you can finally be at home.


I am selfish for wanting you in this lesser place.

No matter what, I will miss you and dream of the day we are reunited.

The day where we are both in a world where we, together; are free and happy


Life is short.

No one knows if the end is really the end

Don’t wait until then to find happiness

Find it in life not death,

Because this is where time is limited.

Death is eternity.

Creativity And Mental health

Life can be quite stressful at times, and often we bottle up our feelings. As we keep in our feelings more and more, it becomes even more unhealthy and can give rise to outbursts of emotion. A way to combat this is through having a creative outlet.

What is a Creative Outlet?

A creative outlet is basically something creative that you do to portray your emotions. It can range from drawing to writing a blog. It also doesn’t have to be singled down to one hobby. I personally enjoy writing stories, blogs and poetry, as well as digital art. It just has to be something that allows you to express yourself.

Why Is It Important?

Having a means to express your creativity is extremely beneficial for your mental health. It enables you to focus all your creativity and emotions on a specific task. The importance of aiming your emotions at one activity allows one to have an effective outlet, as opposed to keeping them in and doing nothing with them. If we don’t allow them to flow, our emotions tend to come out eventually in an unhealthy way. Drawing, writing or other hobbies allow us to reflect and explore the reasons we are feeling a certain way without discussing our issues with others. Opening up to friends isn’t a bad thing to do, however; sometimes we really need to listen to ourselves.

Taking the time to think and analyse your emotions allows one to understand themselves to a higher degree. It’s essential to reflect without the influence of others. Often we go to other people to understand our own emotions and give us advice. If we constantly let opinions and judgements bombard us, we start to lose sight of ourselves, therefore; it is up to us to obtain that understanding of our own emotions.

Creative Outlet Ideas

  • Journaling – this helps us think clearer, although it is quite hard to do because directly writing our emotions can be daunting.
  • Writing poetry or short stories – I see this as a way to mask ones emotions. Say you’re experiencing extreme heart ache because of a situation, you have the power to put creativity into that emotion and express it in fictional way. This is my personal preference over journaling.
  • Drawing – sometimes scribbling helps, sometimes delving deep into a picture does. As long as you get those emotions out.
  • Creating YouTube videos – some people like to use their experiences to create media. I haven’t personally done this, however it’s an outlet.
  • Making a game – games are just writing and drawing combined which seems amazing. Of course, there is coding and the hard computer aspects, none the less it is a great way to channel emotions and creativity.
  • Cooking or baking – make up your own recipes, decorate a cake, it helps to just do something fun and creative.

Thanks for reading everyone! I only this year learned how to channel my emotions into creativity and its working thus far.

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The Importance of Self-Care

Hi Everyone! In this post I am going to discuss self-care and why it’s a necessary for one’s mental well-being. At times when I have felt quite down and lacked confidence, I found that had to do a lot with the fact that I had stopped making time for myself.

What is Self-care?

Self-care is an activity that we do to take care of our mental or emotional state. It can range from partaking in your skin care routine to taking a long bath, or even playing video games. Basically something you do to make yourself feel better.

Why is it Necessary?

Often our day to day lives are filled with stress and anxiety because of work or other factors. Practising self-care helps to combat the toll that our daily lives takes on our mental health. Some benefits that self-care has shown, include; greater capacity to manage stress, increased resilience and reduced mental health problem symptoms.

As someone who was incredibly burnt out last year, I always delayed doing activities to take care of myself. I would often find myself saying, ‘I’ll do it when my semester is finished’. At the end of the day, I got even more burnt out and my performance dropped. Self-care should be implemented on a daily basis as we all need a break.

Some Self-Care Ideas:

  • Light some candles, even the smallest tasks can be therapeutic. Create a calm atmosphere to enjoy especially if the environment you live in is quite stressful.
  • Put a face mask on. I always joke that face masks wash away all my insecurities and they do in a therapeutic sense. If I feel like I am having a bad skin day, I put on a mask and my skin feels better.
  • Eat some chocolate. Don’t eat your feelings away, just indulge in some comfort food sometimes, its like a reward for your work.
  • Play some video games or read a book. I do this for escapism and well there’s nothing wrong with wanting to escape at times. Take yourself to another world and have an adventure.

There’s so much you can do to feel good and, more often than not, its the simple things that help the most. I challenge you all to try an implement some self care at least once a day. Just do something that genuinely feels good because it’s incredibly easy to absent mindedly watch television while scrolling on your phone.

Thanks for reading everyone!