Poetry

Love

The universe is against me.

All that awaits,

Is pain.


I do try…

To love.

Yet, the hurt is too strong.


Now,

I’m scared.

Scared of every single person who peaks my interest.

All because,

The universe seems to not let me be loved.


I long for the day that I accept that.

The day this very thought doesn’t hurt.

For now, I’ll endure and continue to be me.

Because me is who I have to live with,

Forever.

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Opinion · Review

Communication of Mental Health in Social Media

Recently, I watched a video about why Elsa from Frozen is a terrible character. I was incredibly frustrated by the video for the points they were making because to me, they couldn’t see the finite details. As someone who has experienced trauma and depression, I thought it was a horrible message to give to an audience. In this post I want to discuss the portrayal of mental health and people’s reaction to it. I’ve found that society is aware of mental health, yet there is still a disconnect, so let’s explore.

Firstly, I’d like to start with the opinion of the narrator in which Elsa was described as bland and lacking personality. A comparison was then made to other Disney princesses that are quite energetic, loud and proud, however comparing Elsa to their personalities is similar to contrasting a cat to a dog. They’re both quite different. People are allowed to dislike someone’s character, but saying they’re terrible based on the personality of another is highly toxic. Drawing comparisons is quite harmful in society and what adds to this lethality is the fact that Elsa has undergone trauma and suffers from anxiety and depression. People who suffer from anxiety and depression can at times shut down, it isn’t a bland personality, it’s a mental health issue. While Elsa is a fictional character, the likes and comments on this video were quite upsetting because people agreed with these points of the argument. The audience of a youtuber is quite vast and when you have thousands of people condemning a character who clearly has mental instability, what message does this send others?

Frozen has always been a target for hate because it’s a popular movie, I personally love it because it sends an important message. While a person has every right to dislike it for their own reasons, it’s inappropriate to spread hate for a character for their traits that can be explained by mental health or trauma and ride it off as poor writing. My biggest fear is the cascade effect this can have. Society loves to hate on things and cancel them. Frozen was incredibly popular so of course people are going to get sick of it. However, people who are influential have the potential to feed that hate and in the process ride off mental health of as being bitchy or a horrible person. People behave the way they do for a reason and if society truely wishes to support mental health, it starts with not creating hate for the small things like a persons character. I want to discuss some aspect of Elsa’s personality so we can really grasp what severity of these kind of comments.

Shutting Anna Out

In the film Elsa avoids Anna because she fears her powers. She harmed her once before and she’s afraid she will again. In the video, the narrator stated ‘why didn’t she tell Anna once the parents died?’. And then goes on to say ‘hey Anna I have magic ice powers I can’t control and that’s why I stayed away from you….why couldn’t she just say that?’. This is an extremely ignorant and damaging thing to say. Trauma exists. Victims of trauma have to try very hard to overcome aspects of it. People cannot get over it as a whole and it takes a lot of time and energy. When Anna states “I can’t live like this anymore” and Elsa responds “then leave”. The narrator says ‘no rational person would say this’. Elsa clearly looks distressed in this scene and it’s very difficult to let people in as well as it’s very easy to shut them out. Calling it irrational is incredibly hurtful and can make someone think with anxiety or trauma believe that their fears are invalid. The narrator then goes on to state people with anxiety and depression can often act irrational and shows sympathy. While compassion is important and key to understanding people with mental health, why downplay it previously as irrationality? Singling a group out can be detrimental to that group as well as children.

The Movie is Not Teaching Kids to Shut People Out

Elsa needed space to reflect on her thoughts. She created a safe space to do this in the form of an Ice Castle. Progress isn’t linear and the song Let it go was only a representation of one aspect of it. If the movie was showing kids to shut people out there would not have been any resolution. The narrator states ‘why couldn’t she have let love in before’ the resolution rather than avoid others. Once again, mental health is a process and it takes a lot of energy that people don’t have to do this. At the end of the day, isolation isn’t key, but it is a step in battling trauma, depression and anxiety through reflection. Everyone needs to take a step back and think, that’s how life works.

Elsa Needs Anna

The narrator stated the movie didn’t show that Elsa needed Anna. I think it definitely demonstrated overcoming the fear of loving her sister. The only connection Elsa made to love was accidentally hurting her sister while they were playing as kids. For her letting love in mean’t hurting the ones she loved. The act of hurting Anna was another step in overcoming this as it allowed her to see she can hurt Anna at any time and that it doesn’t come with letting love in. Once again, trauma is at play and the entire journey was about Elsa overcoming that fear due to her mental health and showing Anna love. Elsa needed Anna to help her through that.

At the end of the day, it’s definitely up to you to like a character. However, downplaying mental health creates a message in society. While the narrator could identify some aspect of mental health, it still felt offensive. Being irrational is scary to people with mental health problems and commenting on it like that can be damaging. It pushes negative views on mental health onto an audience and can be triggering. Each of these opinions lead onto each other and demonstrated ignorance when it comes to understanding a person, as a result trauma felt like something someone can just get over. We still have a long way to go in order to understand mental health and communicate it. I hope in the near future people will learn to stop criticising others in such a way.

Thanks for reading! Please be wary on the internet, some places are definitely safe zones but some can be quite triggering. I also wasn’t sure whether I should link the video or not, while I don’t agree with an opinion I would rather not create a negative space elsewhere.

Poetry

Apathy

Pain hurts to much,
Caring is exhausting,
My emotions are numb.
Does apathy really exsist?
Or is it caused by pain that weighs too heavy?
Is it really just numbness?
I can feel the pain.
Only it’s dulled,
It’s numb.
There’s been too much hurt,
Yet the apathy doesn’t set in,
Every day still pierces my soul.
Apathy must not exist.
Poetry

Colleagues

I came here to work.
  To learn,
  To achieve.
Please don’t make me feel this way,
There’s too many distractions.
So I ask please…stop.
Don’t turn an innocent crush into something more.
I don’t know when it started,
But now I like the attention,
   The flirting,
   The support,
You said you have my back.
   Is that true?
   Why do you?
I couldn't take the thoughts anymore,
   I need to focus.
That’s why I confessed.
Was it self-sabotage?
   Yes.
Rejection hurts but maybe you’ll stop,
   Stop flirting,
   And glancing were my eyes aren’t.
Why do I have to lower myself?
   To hurt myself to stop you?
It didn’t work,
   It built you up.
And now I’m left here.
You said you understood why I had to hear you say it,
    All the while you glanced at my lips.
I wish it would end here.
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Uncategorized

Ignorance is Bliss

Lately I’ve noticed exactly how much the world enjoys living in ignorance. Naturally, I became curious as to why. I know I personally prefer to ignore the hard things in life and go on not knowing. While it can be easier to ignore what’s troubling us, it can become quite detrimental to our mental and physical health. So, how exactly can we escape it?

Blissful Ignorance – Agnotology

When I first began to reflect on ignorance it was because I heard the term Agnotology in a podcast (ologies). Agnotology is the study of culturally induced ignorance and how it’s used as a tool to divert our attention from social problems. A recent example is the pandemic, some people are being purposfully ignorant despite the very obvious signs it’s going on. While on a societal level its easy to see how the media and the input we get influences us. So I want to explore the reasons we want to be ignorant in every day life about every days things.

Why Do We Choose to Ignore Things?

Personally, when I am faced with a hard task I like to ignore or even procrastinate it, especially when I think I might fail. The brain likes use ignorance as a coping mechanism and if it isn’t there then it cannot cause us pain or hurt. It’s very much a survival instinct, similar to being afraid of what we cannot see in the dark. If it cannot be seen, it’s scary. If we don’t know what’s going to happen it can hurt us. And so, we can go through life blissfully avoiding/ignoring it. While this causes us less pain, that hurt is a part of life and helps us to grow, without it our mental health can suffer.

How Does it Effect Us Mentally?

Most of us have experience a situation when we would really like to do something but are afraid, so we dont try never knowing what would happen and thus we are kept ignorant. The issue with doing this is that it keeps us stagnant and wondering what if, as well as keeping us in a constant cycle of being afraid to try. That consistant cycle keeps us from progressing mentally and in many other aspects. We need to fail to learn and grow, without it people become less open minded. An analogy is when someone is confronted about their behaviour and how it effects the person. Sometimes they refuse to acknowledge that they did hurt someone, maybe its because it hurt that they themselves made a mistake. But the result is that they can’t grow and move forward, learning to handle confrontation and even apologise. They continue to be insensitive and go through life like that. These kinds of people also tend to lose others a lot because they refuse to change. For me, I try to embrace failure the best I can because I know the outcome, which is that I will become better because of it. Yes, its incredibly painful but we can be resiliant at times and we come out better because of it.

How Do We Escape?

Like most things we do, it’s definitely a mental battle. The mind can be powerful in stopping and starting new behaviours. Here’s some ways that I believe could help, it’s very much dependant on an individual, in saying that it’s fantastic to get ideas and try new things.

  • Start small. Think of something small you’ve been avoiding. Going all in and trying new things constantly can be overwhelming and can have the opposite effect.
  • Positive mental feedback. I tend to get thoughts where I put myself down but I’ve learn’t to automatically talk back to them. For example, saying you’re stupid. Tell yourself ‘no, I’m not’ back. Negative thoughts can have a major effect on ones belief in themselves.
  • Praise and congradulate yourself when you achieve something. You struggled mentally and you’ve overcome. Celebrate in any way you can.
  • Create a list. I used to think it was stupid to write down all my mental jargon. It totally isn’t, we need to express ourselves and correlate them somehow. Write a list as detailed or simple as you desire.
  • Symbolism. This is a great way to channel your feelings. It might sound a littler bit strange but it can help especially when you’re first learning to overcome obstacles.

These are just some suggestions that might help. It’s about finding what works best for you. Many of us struggle with overcoming fear, but as long as we keep trying to push through them we shouldn’t feel guilty about lack of progress in life. And if anyone reading this is trying debating whether they should do something they’ve been afraid of, this is a sign! Thanks for reading!

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Love

The universe is against me. All that awaits, Is pain. I do try… To love. Yet, the hurt is too strong. Now, I’m scared. Scared of every single person who peaks my interest. All because, The universe seems to not let me be loved. I long for the day that I accept that. The day… Continue reading Love

Apathy

Pain hurts to much, Caring is exhausting, My emotions are numb. Does apathy really exsist? Or is it caused by pain that weighs too heavy? Is it really just numbness? I can feel the pain. Only it’s dulled, It’s numb.There’s been too much hurt, Yet the apathy doesn’t set in, Every day still pierces my… Continue reading Apathy

Poetry

R U OK? Day Poem

Trigger warning: Some of the words in this poem can imply suicide. It’s up to your own interpretation, however please be cautious.

I’m waiting,

For someone to notice.

Each day is growing harder,

Each breath becoming a gasp.

The perfect storm is in my head,

Yet, my words are obslete.

How much longer will I endure?


I’m counting down the days,

Until my mind is at peace.

I don’t know how or when the storm inside will subside.

But exhaustion has set in,

Every movement agony.

How much more can I take?


I’m so afraid,

Of what I am capable of,

And the consequences of trusting others.

The world is cruel.

All I can do is wait and see,

If someone can pull the words out of me.

By reaching out,

To ask me,

‘R U OK?’


Mental health is incredibly important and having struggled in the past, I wanted to write a poem for R U OK? day. There have been many times in the past which I wish I could’ve been asked that and I know there are people out there who need to be asked that right now. I try to make my blog a safespace for self-expression of my own thoughts through poetry because it helps with my healing, but it also helps others to know they’re not alone. If anyone needs to talk right now, my inbox is always open!

Poetry

Support

Looking back,

The past is a cold, dark place,

Devoid of all happiness.


Reflecting only leads to guilt

And questions,

How could I have done better?

Am I really to blame?


Yet there’s one question that fails to surface,

If I felt unsupported,

Why do I feel guilt?


I had been hurt time after time,

It caused me to break.

So why would you be angry at me?

And not the people who did it to me?

Telling me that it’s ‘their choice’ to treat me this way,

Is stating that I should carry the burden of their actions.

That those actions were acceptable.


So, I ask, next time I cry or break,

Be angry with me and not at me.

Support me.

And I will do the same.

Poetry

Rely on Yourself

I found myself seeking others,

Trying to find a solution,

Only to be disappointed.


I searched,

Over sharing my thoughts as a cry for help,

Desperately holding back the tears.


Then someone answered.

It wasn’t a solution,

Not in the sense I was expecting.

But, those words ignited a flame in me,

An idea that I realised I was searching for all along.


“Rely on yourself”, they said

At the end of the day,

I know me better than anyone,

Therefore I know what’s best.

No one could help me,

Because I needed to help myself.


These words still ring in my brain.

And I am forever thankful to the person who cited them.

Inspiring People

Changing Mindsets

Something I’ve struggled with lately is changing my mindset. I find that my view on something changes in relation to my mental health. For example, when I am struggling with my mental health, the bad things in life become painful, as if the universe is trying to make life harder. In this post I want to explore ways to change mindset and to remind myself, as well as others that shit happens.

Challenger Your Thoughts

Changing mindset is a mental battle and simply telling yourself that the universe isn’t out to get you and bad shit just happens can go a long way. Earlier this year when I felt I wasn’t in control of my actions and was stressed about it. I would tell myself ‘I’m in control’ every time feelings of anxiety arose. Eventually it gets in your head that you are in control and no one around you can truely control you.

I believe this is manifestation in a sense. We can manifest our positive mindsets because we are telling ourselves. If we were to wait for things to go right than we’d be waiting a long time, because life is full of obstacles.

Consume Positive Media

I cannot stress this enough. Today I was watching videos on body transformations and while I have a positive body image currently, seeing these peoples transformation was making me feel the need to step on the scale. I tend to be terrified of the scale and it was having a negative impact so I had to switch it off. Obviously we ourselves define what’s negative media for us, but it can have a profound effect on our mood and mindset.

Walking away from something triggering can be difficult, especially with algorithms always throwing it in our face. Try to avoid it though if you feel particularly vulnerable, because a negative mindset can be exhausting.


Looking back, I think these are the biggest factors in changing my mindset but it’s different for everyone. Every once in a while it’s nice to reflect because everyone does forget what helps them to think more positively.

Thanks for reading!