diary · Inspiring People

On Revenge

It can be incredibly easy to desire revenge and even act it out in a fit of anger. It can also be fulfilling to see someone get what they deserve. However, is it worth it in the end?

To understand revenge we need to step back and look at evolution. Evolutionary psychologists theorise that revenge developed through natural selection in order to retaliate against an exploiter when injustice has occurred. In my personal opinion, this makes a lot of sense as humanity often relies on social bonds for survival. Basically, if an individual survives it benefits the species as that individual is able to produce viable offspring. A social behaviour that comes to mind when exploring the idea of revenge and survival is reciprocal altruism. This terms refers to an individual temporarily reduces its fitness (ability to survive in an environment) to increase another organisms, with the expectation that the other organism will do the same. Forming these social groups can aid a persons survival until they can reproduce. So, where does revenge come into this? Revenge paves way for justice in people who go against reciprocal altruism.

As humans we would band together in social groups for survival. Taking advantage of others opposes altruism because it’s for ones own gain and doesn’t benefit the group. Revenge in a sense can be viewed as an example of altruism. It’s taking a person who would rather further their own fitness and reducing them down to someone who can no longer be socially accepted (sometimes). Someone who cannot be part of the group becomes someone whose fitness is reduced in the long run. Now, we have an understanding of why revenge behaviours take place and why it was sometimes necessary in the past, what about the present?

Humans no longer need to survive as a species in a sense, of course there are people who are still trying to drastically survive even today, however; what about a situation where you’ve come up with an idea and it gets stolen? Yes, that would completely suck, though what do you do then? Is it ethical in today’s society? Is beneficial and healthy to do?

Ethics would say no. Desire for revenge is often motivated by spite, anger and ego which can be quite toxic for a person. In the end it can create even more suffering at times. Personally, I want to enact revenge at times but I know I’ll feel worse about it than the situation that caused my desire. I guess it’s really up to where a persons morals stand, if they are at the capacity to then it’s their decision. Sometimes though, the best revenge can be showing how much you grew and were able to achieve your goal regardless. Either way, it’s 2020 and as my sister said ‘we’re over taking people’s shit’.

Thanks for reading everyone! I really wanted to explore a normal human emotion that everyone experiences because it’s really hard to overcome that desire at times.

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diary · Inspiring People

Mental Health Progress Isn’t Linear

A lot of people suffer from mental health issues. I for one, have dealt with anxiety and depression. While I’m in a much better place than I was, there are times where I recollect and have intense anxiety due to recent events. One idea that needs to mentally rehearsed is that mental health progress isn’t linear. We will go through periods of happiness and self-confidence and then we will plummet into old thoughts. Even though we fall we always get back up.

Why Do We Return to Negatvitiy?

Bad things will happen and sometimes they bring back the negativity and the feelings we had only just escaped. What we don’t do though is give in to these thoughts and I know that’s difficult. If we give in, the pessimism will return and we could possibly fall back into old ways.

How Do We Escape the Returning Thoughts?

Have a half an hour or an hour feeling like complete shit, then get back up, feel yourself again and remember it’s 2020 and it’s time to transform into a better you. If you want to cry, scream or whatever, do what you need to in order to get back on track. Take the time to stop what you were doing and do what you enjoy. Watch YouTube, Netflix or listen to music. Do whatever you have to in order to take your mind off the negativity. Eventually you will feel better and can go about your day. It’s okay to take time for your mental health.

Thoughts on Linear Progress

You don’t wake up one day and suddenly feel confident and comfortable with yourself. It takes time and a lot of set backs to reach that point. Though at the end of the day, preventing yourself from spiraling into bad thoughts and feelings, you can really open yourself up to a better you. So, don’t think that a step back is a bad thing. Slowly it takes less effort to feel better and eventually, you feel like yourself.

Some Media that Comment Well on Mental Health

Music:

Kesha – Kesha has recently gone through a lot of mental trauma and her more recently music really demonstrates that battle with mental health. Some notable songs include; Learn To Let Go, My Own Dance, Raising Hell, Rainbow and Praying.

The Anxiety Anthem – This song by Mabel expressed how it’s okay not to be okay, explaining how we have moments where we feel like shit, however; we get back up. I used to listen to this song a lot when I was suffering from panic attacks on a daily basis.

Shows/Movies:

Disney movies – They are aimed at children and have fantastic messages at times. Especially Frozen 2 and Moana comment really well on mental health. I recommend watching them as it really helped me in dark times.

Black Mirror – This show comments very well on society and can be quite helpful in letting you understand the issues that aren’t your fault. I don’t have any specific ones because I find the messages in most episodes are amazing.

Thanks for reading everyone!

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diary · Inspiring People

Everyone Has a Voice

Let’s explore the idea of speaking up. Imagine you’re in a situation where you’re being bullied, by a boss or a class mate. You’re afraid to say anything and delve into a deep anxious or depressive state. Why is it so difficult to speak up? What are the effects and possible outcomes?

Firstly, let’s understand why it’s so hard. A simple answer is fear. ‘What happens if I actually say what I want to say?’, ‘What if it becomes worse?’ These are thoughts that often go through someone’s mind when in these types of situation. We often let fear and anxiety hold us back from attempting to make it better because it may get worse. We all go through those tough periods when you have a boss being abusive and for me, I recall being terrified of that she would destroy my chances of a good grade and humiliate me in front of others. That ended up happening anyway. Inability to speak up can be due to a fear of the worst happening. Especially with anxiety, it become survival of the fittest and in this case the fight or flight response takes hold and we often choose to flight. We retreat. However, we cannot expect change to happen unless we make it happen.

A lot of us need to find a voice. It’s down there somewhere. Change is completely possible but it is up to us because they aren’t going to change. In terms of the scenario above, there’s always someone above the boss or the bully. They don’t have complete power, they’re not invincible. For those who haven’t had a situation like that, the time may come when you do. I challenge everyone to just speak up, if something is bothering you, upsetting you and it’s within reason for you to speak, then find your voice. It’s those baby steps. It’s slow. However, eventually the voice inside of you will appear and it will be louder than it ever has been.

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2020 Dream Board

Happy New Year everyone!

I’ve decided to create a dream board instead of resolutions. For me resolutions can easily be broken and I need that reminder of what I’m striving for. What is a dream board? Also known as a vision board, it is basically a colleague of pictures to remind and inspire you to complete your goals. So, here it goes:

Fitness

I’m not saying I’m aiming for this body type but I’m aiming for what this picture represents. I hope to achieve physical strength. I want to be strong and powerful. Looks don’t matter, it’s how you feel.

Studying

I want to study smarter again. I used to be good at studying and I want to find that part of me again. I’m starting a PhD so I need to work hard. I also study Japanese as a hobby and hope to finish N4 level by the end of the year. As well as Japanese, I want to study Korean and maybe Spanish in the near future.

Art Meets Business

I enjoy drawing and designing. I am also a struggling student who has very little income. This year I hope to turn my passion for design into a business. I have a few ideas, such as; creating an Etsy shop with stickers or selling prints. I will most likely document it on my blog too and I can’t wait to share my artwork with you all!

Saving Money to Travel

I love travel and I need to save to do it. After I pay off my after pay, I hope to save a $100 a month to get me out of Australia in 2021. I don’t have a destination yet, though I’m thinking somewhere cheap.

Thanks everyone for reading! I hope you all have a great 2020. I only recently started my blog and I cannot wait to write all the posts to come.

diary · Poetry

Repression

I feel.

I feel, like everybody…

Why must I hide it?


I’m angry… but you won’t let me be.

‘If you don’t stop I’m going to lose it’, he says


Why are you the only one that can be angry?

Why are you the only one who can show emotion?


While you sit there on your high horse…

I cannot breathe

I cannot think rationally

I feel dead.


Hey everyone, little note for the new year. Please don’t let anyone be abusive to you on this day. New Year often feels like new beginnings and if someone makes you feel small, shut yourself away from them and enjoy the night on your own terms. It’s your year. I’m from Australia and I come from a mentally abusive household. New year has already happened and I already am scared of it. So please, be safe, ensure your wellbeing and stride on! Have a great New Year and if anyone needs to talk let me know!

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8 Habits I’m going to Test in 2020

Hi everyone!

It’s almost 2020 and this year I’m working on developing new habits. I’m going to challenge myself to test a new habit for 30 days. I am hoping that I will permanently develop some of them. I won’t be trying them all at the same time as I will become overwhelmed. Here’s the list:

Reading Everyday

I struggle with reading everyday because I tend to do other things like watch Netflix and scroll through Reddit, rather than read. In January I’m going to try and consistently read for 31 days and see if I can adopt that habit. I will read for 30 minutes everyday and try to track it in my bullet journal.

Incorporating Walking into my Lifestyle

I want to walk more. I used to walk everyday. I want to walk everyday again, even for 15 minutes. I also want to reduce my carbon emissions by walking to places within walking distance. No more driving.

Reducing Waste Products

The planet is struggling and I don’t want to be part of it anymore. So I’m going to work on reducing my waste products. This one is going to be particularly hard because I love consumables. I buy clothes and makeup like there is no tomorrow. I don’t know how to solve the shampoo and conditioner issue because they come in bottles. Also where I live there are no zero waste shops. There are some in the more hipster areas but that’s half an hour away.

Creating a Doable Morning Routine.

I can’t do mornings. I hate mornings. I basically want to wake up earlier and get my shit together. I currently wake up at 1pm because it’s holidays. I want to get that to 9am.

Start Meal Prepping Every Sunday

I am going to be starting a PhD, so I’ll have less time to do necessary tasks. I’m going to try meal prepping so I won’t buy food and I can eat healthier. I’m hoping to start in February and see how it goes.

Have a Self Care Day

I need to practice more self care. So I’m going to allocate a day to which I can practice self care. Face masks, doing my nails and just all those self care things. 2020 is the year of loving oneself.

Learn to Tidy

If I haven’t managed to do it by then, I’m going to work on this Habit. I hate tidying and I want my room to be a place that inspires and motivates, therefore; I need to learn. I hope to maybe make Sunday’s my cleaning day. I also want to practice putting

Drink Less

I want to start the decade off by drinking less. Currently, I drink a little too much on weekends and I aiming to be here for a long time, so alcohol needs to be out of the picture.

Thanks everyone for reading the habits I want to form in 2020. I will update on how it’s going and whether it’s doable for me.

diary

Lessons Learned in 2019

Hey everyone!

2019 is coming to an end, so it’s time to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned during the year. I am incredibly optimistic that 2020 is going to be a fantastic year and the 2020s is going to be a good decade. So, here it goes:

Just because people care, doesn’t mean they always will.

Some people suddenly treat others like shit and there will always be one person who ares about you then treats you poorly. However; it’s time to look at all the people who do care about you and why they all care. People care about you and love you because you’re a good person. Everyone has flaws but learn from them and don’t blame yourself if people leave.

Letting go of the past.

The past shouldn’t always haunt a person. Learn from your mistakes and be a better individual. You did something amazing, you were tested and you overcame – undergoing a significant amount of growth. Don’t let your past haunt you when you have changed, you’re not the same person you were at the start of 2019.

Peoples actions aren’t always because of you.

Some people have gone through a lot. You can either become a better person or go down the path that others inflicted on you. People who treat you poorly do so because they have their own personal issues. The way they treat others is a reflection of their character and their own deep seeded issues. On a side note, it’s not your responsibility to change anyone or help them grow.

Rely on no one.

The only person who can make you feel better is yourself. You don’t need validation or supervision from others. You can accept guidance but the only one who knows what’s best for you is yourself. Listen to the voice inside your head (within reason, of course). I know some people cannot always do that due to mental health, however; a lot of people do know what’s best for them. If someone tells you to see a councillor, by all means follow their guidance, go see for yourself if it helps you cope. Don’t let them make you feel obliged to though, you yourself know if you can cope. Someone told me to see a psychologist so I can get tailored help. I then felt like I had to because I had issues that needed addressing. At that time, I had just seen a councillor and was thanking them for telling me to see one because I wouldn’t have gone if no one had. What I realised when I spoke to my councillor, all I needed was validation that I had been wronged because I kept blaming myself. But it was in my head that I needed help for issues I could handle. I was able to identify the components of a situation I could’ve handled better, I learned from that. At the end of the day, I decided to undergo the healing alone because I know how to cope, I just needed validation from the psychologist or councillor and that won’t always be there. This year, I learned to rely on myself. You’re the only person who knows what you need, you’re the only one who can truely guide you.

Welcoming the New Decade

We are going to start this decade off with a bang. Using the lessons I learned, I will continue to enforce them. I’m going to continue to I find inspiration everywhere I look and try to see life through rose coloured glasses. No more being unhappy, it’s time to change. I’m 21 and I want to live my life to the fullest.